Bizzaro – a world made famous by the sitcom Seinfeld. Jerry would go on and on about a land where left was right and right was left… A truly bizarre land where Newman was good and Jerry was bad, where Banyon was funny and Jerry’s bits just bombed. The fictitious world of Bizzaro may be more real than fake – not the extreme of left being right and right being left… Bizzaro holds true as we compare ourselves to our shelled friends of the deep, the sea turtle.
From sunglasses to sunscreen to rash guards, if they don't not have UV protection then you don’t want them! At the Turtle Store Emporium located 2 miles deep in the ocean blue (it is their Costco – just left and on the outskirts of Atlantis – that city is so pretentious, they will not allow any chain stores inside their city limits), turtles come from far and wide looking for UV enhancers. They need, they want, they must have the UV to live and grow strong…
Turtles treat UV rays like milk – building strong bones and shells. They m
ay seem like they are being lazy as they lope around with their heads held to the sky, but in fact they are doing just what they need to do for survival. Their sunbathing not only feels good, it inspires their shells to grow, keeps their bones strong and extends their lives. Some live to 30 years or more. And their distant cousin – the giant tortoise – can live into their late 100s, yet Willard Scott of the Today Show never gives them any love, neither do his friends at Smuckers. Not to mention, the long standing legend from India that has a tortoise named
Adwaitya who lived to be 255 years old.
And then there are us human beings – we lounge in the sun (because we are lazy) and we enjoy the water like our shelled friend – the difference, turtles glide through the water, we flop through it. And as it pertains to UV rays, they are both a blessing and a curse. In moderation, they assist our bodies in producing Vitamin D (oddly enough found in milk, but as we all learned from Ron Burgandy, milk is not good on a hot day) – this strengthens our bones and teeth and helps us resist various internal cancers. The curse comes from us lounging around like turtles for hours at a time without the proper protection. Since the 80s, there has been a noticeable hole growing in the ozone which has led to a growing number of skin cancer cases – for both children and adults.
Proper protection may mean different things for different people and age groups. For adults lounging around the pool watching their potbellies grow in the sun, a potent sunscreen may be sufficient. But for most children, if they are near a pool, on a beach or at a river, most likely they are jumping in and out of the water. Sunscreen may partially do the trick but one can never be too sure – it rubs off, dissolves in the water and may not be applied evenly. That leads to a funny, all be it uncomfortable, sun burn for the child.
You need to be especially aware of UV rays when you are taking kids to
the water – UV rays may not seem as dangerous as a shark or snapping turtle (they bit way harder than sharks and they are not confusing you with a seal, they are just mean and want to bite you). The message – skin and eye protection are key. Get a
float suit or rash guard with UV protection – you and the kids should be wearing sunscreen with UV protection – finally wear both
goggles and sunglasses (not at the same time – plus wear the goggles on land and the sunglasses underwater, wait that is Bizzaro world; so the opposite and make sure the lens have UV protection).
Learn more about UV protecting products at www.destinationwater.com for both adults and children. Learn more about turtles at
http://www.google.com/ (we can’t do all the work for you – and if I see this as a book report for some kid, then I will prosecute like Metallica going after Napster)
Did you know that a sea turtle can swim up to 20 MPH?! It’s amazing that a slow and pokey reptile on land can be so quick in the water. It makes me wonder – maybe they are just in a hurry to get back into the sun to catch some UV rays…
- A C Walters Intercoastal Corporation
